Ditching Mom Guilt: Embracing Grace and Real-Life Mom Wins

I remember the days when I felt like I had to be perfect for my daughter, or at least pretend I was. I would juggle my business, my home, and every other responsibility I had, all while trying to be the best mom. But the moment I messed up—even just a little—I would feel that awful, sinking feeling in my stomach. It was mom guilt, and let me tell you, it's the worst.

Today, as I sit here writing this, I can honestly say that I have a completely different perspective on mom guilt. I’m not perfect, and neither is my daughter, but I’ve learned something vital that I want to share with you: grace is the antidote to guilt.

This blog post is personal. It’s about my journey, how I’ve learned to cope with, and ultimately overcome, mom guilt. I hope it resonates with you because I know I’m not the only mom out there who feels this way.

My Struggle with Mom Guilt: The Old Me

A few years ago, if I was sick or overwhelmed, I would’ve pushed myself to the absolute limit. It didn’t matter that I was exhausted or unwell; I felt like I had to be everything to everyone. My daughter would be running around the house asking for my attention, and I’d try my best to give her all of it, even though I was running on empty.

At the time, I thought that was the “right” thing to do. Being the perfect mom meant never slowing down, never making mistakes, and always being present. I would feel guilty for needing rest. I would guilt myself for not giving my daughter enough of my time. And let’s not even talk about the mom guilt that came when I had to work. If I wasn’t spending every waking moment with her, I felt like I was failing her.

But here’s the thing: that mindset almost destroyed me. I was so focused on meeting unrealistic expectations for myself that I forgot to take care of the person who needed the most attention—me.

Why Mom Guilt is So Common (But Often Unnecessary)

So, what exactly is mom guilt? In my experience, it’s this overwhelming feeling that you’re not enough. Not a good enough mom, not a good enough wife (even though I’m single), not a good enough entrepreneur. It’s feeling like everything you do (or don’t do) is going to negatively affect your kids. You beat yourself up for every mistake you make, no matter how small.

The worst part? It’s usually about things that are beyond our control. We guilt ourselves for not being perfect, for needing a break, for wanting some time to just be. I remember feeling guilty for wanting five minutes of peace, just to recharge. Or feeling guilty for focusing on my business and my future, while my daughter played by herself in the other room. I thought that if I wasn’t always there for her, I was failing her.

But here’s the reality: mom guilt doesn’t come from actual failures—it comes from our perception of our “enoughness.” We set unrealistic expectations for ourselves, and when we don’t meet them, we spiral into guilt. And trust me, that doesn’t serve anyone. It certainly didn’t serve me or my daughter.

Real Talk: The Struggles We All Face

I reached out to a few of you on Instagram to hear about your experiences with mom guilt, and the responses I got were eye-opening. The common threads were all too familiar:

• Getting frustrated or losing patience with your kids.

• Practicing self-care and feeling guilty about it.

• Not spending enough time with your kids because you’re working.

• Putting your kids in front of the TV to get things done (guilty as charged!).

• Struggling to afford things for your kids that other kids have.

• Leaving the house without them.

• Being on your phone too much.

Let me tell you—if you’re feeling any of these things, it doesn’t mean you’re a bad mom. In fact, it just means you’re human. We all have our moments, and it’s so easy to get caught up in the pressure of “doing it all.” But the truth is, we don’t have to do it all, and we don’t have to be perfect.

What matters is that we’re doing the best we can, and that we’re showing up for ourselves as much as we’re showing up for our kids. We all need breaks, time to recharge, and space to grow.

Giving Yourself Grace: A Game Changer

Here’s what I’ve learned over time: grace is everything.

I’ve stopped treating myself as though I need to have everything figured out. I’ve learned that it’s okay to be imperfect and to make mistakes. I no longer guilt-trip myself for needing rest, for spending time on my business, or for taking a break.

And you know what? The more grace I give myself, the better I am at being the mom I want to be.

Tip #1: Your Needs Don’t Disappear When You Become a Mom

Before I became a mom, I was a whole person—with my own needs, desires, and goals. I needed sleep. I needed to eat. I needed social interaction. And guess what? Those needs didn’t just disappear when I had my daughter.

As moms, we are often expected to put our needs on the back burner, but that’s not healthy. When you’re constantly pouring from an empty cup, you can’t give your best to your kids. I’ve learned to give myself permission to take care of myself. Whether it’s taking a walk, getting a good night’s sleep, or just sitting down with a cup of tea, self-care isn’t selfish—it’s essential.

Tip #2: We Are Going to Mess Up—And That’s Okay

Perfection is a myth. Every mom, myself included, makes mistakes. Sometimes, I snap when I shouldn’t. Sometimes, I forget to do something important. Sometimes, I’m not as patient as I’d like to be.

And you know what? That’s okay. The goal isn’t perfection; it’s progress. Showing up, owning our mistakes, and trying to do better next time is what truly matters. My daughter sees me mess up, but she also sees me apologize and try to make things right. That’s what I want to model for her—grace over guilt.

Tip #3: Be the Example of Self-Compassion

I want my daughter to grow up knowing that it’s okay to mess up, to need help, and to prioritize self-care. If I want her to be kind to herself, I have to lead by example. I’ve stopped being so hard on myself, and I’ve started showing her how to have a healthy relationship with her own emotions.

If we want our kids to understand the importance of self-compassion, we have to practice it ourselves. So, instead of feeling guilty when I mess up, I remind myself that I’m learning, I’m growing, and that’s what truly matters.

Grace Over Guilt: The Power of Self-Compassion

Here’s the thing: mom guilt will never fully go away, and that’s okay. It’s a normal human feeling, and sometimes it can be helpful. But when it becomes constant, unrelenting, and crippling, it only drains us of the energy and joy we need to be the moms we want to be.

I’ve learned that by giving myself grace, I’m not letting myself off the hook for bad behavior. Instead, I’m creating the space I need to heal, grow, and become the best version of myself—for me and for my daughter.

So, let’s stop guilt-tripping ourselves. Let’s be kinder to ourselves. Let’s give ourselves the grace we so freely offer to others. After all, we’re human. And that’s enough.

If you’re struggling with mom guilt, just know you’re not alone. I get it. I’ve been there, and I’m still working through it. But I truly believe that by practicing grace, we can break the cycle of guilt and embrace the imperfect, beautiful journey of motherhood. And hey, we might even start enjoying the ride a little more.

If you want to talk more about this or connect on Instagram, I’d love to hear from you. We’re all in this together. ❤️

-Katelynn