The Truth About Mom Burnout: A Real Talk on Mental Health, Motherhood, and the Overlooked Load We Carry

Every day, I get messages from moms sharing their struggles—some personal, some raw, and some that break my heart. I hear from women battling burnout, overwhelmed by the constant mental, emotional, and physical load that motherhood brings. They’re tired. And not the kind of tired that a good night’s sleep can fix. No, this is deep. The kind of exhaustion that no amount of self-care or ‘me-time’ can heal.

This is a struggle I know all too well. As a single mom running my own business, it’s a constant balancing act between my family’s needs and my own. I’ve been there. And I’ve seen firsthand how moms everywhere are gaslit into thinking that the weight they carry is either their fault or simply part of the gig. But I’m here to say—no, it’s not just you. And no, it’s not just your problem. It’s a societal issue that we all need to address.

Why are we still carrying the load?

It’s 2025, yet many of us still find ourselves stuck in the same outdated roles. We’re told that motherhood means doing it all—running the household, caring for the kids, and somehow, keeping it all together, all while looking like we’ve got everything under control. This is the unspoken expectation placed on us, and it’s exhausting.

I’m not just talking about housework. I’m talking about the mental load—the constant mental checklist of things to do, things to buy, appointments to schedule, and the emotional weight of managing our families’ well-being. We carry that, too. And let’s be honest—nobody sees it. Nobody notices how many times you remind your child to do their homework or how many things you juggle just to get through the week.

Mothers are not the problem.

Moms, let’s talk about what’s really going on here. When I started sharing my own struggles as a work-from-home mom, I was flooded with messages from others who felt the same way—burnt out, unseen, and overwhelmed. The truth is, it’s not us—it’s the systems we live in.

The pandemic was a wake-up call for many of us. It wasn’t just the pandemic that brought us to our breaking points; it was the already existing societal norms that placed a disproportionate burden on moms, expecting us to be everything for everyone. And while the pandemic intensified these pressures, it didn’t create them.

Here’s the hard truth: the root of the problem is structural inequality. Patriarchy. The outdated belief that unpaid domestic labor should fall on women’s shoulders. That is the heart of the burnout epidemic. But we don’t talk about it like that, do we? Instead, we internalize the message that we are the problem.

When I shared my thoughts on this on social media, my message resonated with so many moms. My community lit up with DMs and comments, sharing their own stories of feeling unseen and undervalued. They’re told it’s just a phase. That they need more self-care. More therapy. More sleep. More time to themselves. But what they don’t need is more “tips” that add to their to-do list.

The real problem: Gaslighting.

There’s a term I want to address here: gaslighting. It’s a psychological manipulation tactic that makes someone question their reality. And that’s exactly what’s happening to moms everywhere. We’re made to believe that our exhaustion, frustration, and anger are our issues, not the result of a system that isn’t set up to support us.

Gaslighting in motherhood looks like this: you’re carrying the weight of the world, but instead of being validated, you’re told it’s your fault. "Just calm down," they say. "Just ask for help," they tell you. But who is actually helping? Who is sharing the load? Too often, the answer is no one. You’re left to question if maybe, just maybe, it’s you who isn’t cut out for this.

I get it. I’ve been there. There’s a reason why we get frustrated, overwhelmed, and angry. And it’s not because we’re weak. It’s because we’re doing a job that is too big for one person to handle alone.

The truth about mental health and motherhood.

I’m passionate about mental health. As someone who’s struggled with my own mental health, I know how important it is to prioritize our well-being. But here's where the issue lies: When we label every bit of exhaustion, every bit of burnout, as a “mental health issue,” we’re missing the bigger picture.

The mental health crisis among moms is real. But it’s also deeply tied to the fact that we’re carrying a burden that no human should have to carry alone. Yes, burnout, anxiety, depression—these are real mental health issues. But when they’re not addressed in the context of the societal pressures we face, we’re just slapping a bandaid on a much deeper problem.

Moms don’t need to be told to just do more self-care. We need a cultural shift. We need more support at home. We need our partners to share the load. We need workplaces that understand the demands of motherhood. And we need better systems in place to support us—whether that’s better maternity leave, affordable childcare, or access to mental health care.

It’s not just about self-care.

Don’t get me wrong—self-care is important. But let’s be real: self-care isn’t just about taking a bubble bath or having a quiet cup of coffee. It’s about being cared for. As moms, we spend so much time caring for everyone else—our kids, our partners, our families—but who is caring for us? Who is checking in on us to make sure we’re okay?

It shouldn’t fall on us to schedule our own care or beg for the help we need. It should be a natural part of family life to prioritize the well-being of the person who holds it all together. If we’re expected to be the emotional and logistical backbone of our families, then it’s time for the system to step up and support us in return.

Addressing the real issue: the structural inequality.

Moms are doing the heavy lifting, both at home and in the workplace. And it’s time for that to change. A few years ago, I ran a poll on Instagram, asking moms about the mental load and domestic labor they carry. The results were overwhelming: 96% of respondents said they bear the mental load of parenting. Over 80% take on the bulk of the domestic chores. And yet, we’re told to just handle it. To “slow down.” To “ask for help.”

But who is going to step up and take the load off us? Who is going to be the ones to share the responsibilities? Until society shifts its expectations and supports moms in a real way, we’ll continue to feel the weight of the world on our shoulders.

What can we do about it?

It’s clear that individual actions—like therapy, self-care, and setting boundaries—are essential. But they’re not enough. We need a shift in how society views motherhood. We need real change. We need partners who pull their weight, workplaces that respect moms, and systems that provide real support.

For me, I’m taking small steps every day to carve out space for myself. But I also know that this is bigger than any one person. We need a cultural and systemic shift, and that change starts with all of us acknowledging the problem and demanding more for the mothers in our lives.

So to all the moms out there—whether you're feeling overwhelmed, burnt out, or just plain tired: you’re not alone. And it’s not your fault. The system is broken, and it’s time to fix it.

Let’s start by speaking up. Let’s start by sharing the load.