Moms: How to Set Boundaries with Family and Kids
When I first became a mom, I thought boundaries were just something "other people" needed. I believed that as a mom, my role was to constantly give, sacrifice, and put everyone else’s needs ahead of my own. But let me tell you, that quickly became unsustainable. I found myself drained, overwhelmed, and honestly, just a little resentful. The turning point for me was realizing that setting boundaries wasn’t selfish—it was necessary for me to show up as the best version of myself for my family.
If you're reading this, it's probably because you're looking for guidance on setting boundaries with your family and kids. Maybe you're struggling to balance your own needs with everything you're expected to do for everyone else. Trust me, I've been there.
So, what are boundaries, and why are they so important?
In simple terms, boundaries are the lines we draw around our time, energy, and emotions to protect ourselves. They're an act of self-care that allows us to stay grounded, calm, and present. When I didn't set boundaries, I was constantly overwhelmed. But once I learned how to do it, everything changed. I started feeling more in control of my life, and more importantly, I felt like I could finally breathe.
Healthy Boundaries: What They Really Mean for Moms
Healthy boundaries help us protect our emotional and mental well-being. They allow us to define who we are, what we're responsible for, and what we’re not. This is especially important when you're juggling motherhood, business, and everything in between. It’s easy to feel like you're supposed to do it all, but setting boundaries is about choosing what's right for you and your family—and it’s about time we all embrace that!
I used to feel guilty about putting my own needs first. I felt like I had to be available for everyone at all times, but doing that left me feeling depleted. Now I know that taking care of myself, whether it's a quiet moment alone or a simple "no" when I'm asked to do more, is what allows me to show up as a better mom and business owner.
5 Tips for Setting Healthy Boundaries with Family
It’s OK to Say No Saying no was one of the hardest things I had to learn. Whether it was turning down a volunteer request from school, saying no to a sleepover, or asking my partner to hold off on plans, I realized that saying no wasn’t a sign of failure—it was a sign of self-respect. Setting boundaries with your kids, partner, or extended family is about understanding your limits and communicating them kindly. For example, when my kids asked for a sleepover, I’d say, “That sounds fun! Let’s plan for another weekend when I can really enjoy it.” It’s all about finding the balance and setting expectations in a respectful way.
Check in with Yourself Before I say yes to anything, I always ask myself: "How am I feeling? Am I taking care of my own needs?" I realized that when I ignored my own needs, I ended up feeling burnt out. If my kids are asking for attention, but I’m feeling drained, I let them know, “I need a few minutes to recharge, and then I’ll be happy to play.” It’s all about being in tune with your own needs, so you can give the best of yourself to those who depend on you.
What You Share is Your Choice As moms, we face a lot of unsolicited advice and opinions from family and friends. Whether it’s about parenting, pregnancy, or how you raise your kids, remember: you have the right to decide what’s shared and with whom. If someone questions your parenting or makes you feel uncomfortable, kindly but firmly set a boundary. For instance, “I appreciate your concern, but I’m going to handle things my way.” Protecting your space is just as important as protecting your time.
Make a List I know, I know, another list. But hear me out. By writing down situations where I feel overwhelmed or stressed, I can identify where boundaries need to be set. Maybe it’s saying no to chaos while I cook dinner or telling my partner I need more help with the kids. Once I see these moments in writing, it’s easier to prioritize and take action without feeling guilty or overwhelmed.
Ask for Help One of the hardest things to do as a mom is ask for help. But I’ve learned that asking for support isn’t a weakness—it’s a strength. It’s a boundary that lets others know that you need a hand and that you can’t do it all on your own. Whether it’s asking a friend to watch the kids for an hour, hiring a sitter, or just asking your partner to take over for a bit, help is essential. And remember, it’s OK to need it.
Boundaries Help You Enjoy Motherhood More
At the end of the day, setting boundaries isn’t about shutting people out—it’s about creating space for you to show up fully for your family. It’s about being able to say yes to the things that truly matter, like quality time with your kids, and saying no to things that drain you. When you set boundaries, you create more energy, more time, and more joy in your life. And you deserve that.
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And remember: you’re not being selfish by setting boundaries. You’re showing up as the best version of yourself for everyone who matters most.
